'When I'm manic all I remember is the moment. When I'm depressed all I remember is the pain.' Terri Cheney
Terri Cheney's story starts with her rape.Occuring at the height of her mania, Terri had spun out of control on many an occasion, but never had she been hurt as brutally or as badly as the night she was raped by a complete stranger. Graphically telling the account of that night is the beginning of Terri's journey, from beautiful, well–educated and successful lawyer based in LA to multiple suicide attempts, nights in jail, her eating disorder, broken jobs, ruined friendships and finally electroshock treatment.
In this painfully honest account of a life lived in extremes, one minute Terri, the competent, professional lawyer would be crouched beneath her desk at work, paralyzed by depression; the next she'd be flying kites off the edge of a cliff in a violent thunderstorm. One minute she's euphoric from a successful date with a cute guy, the next she's eating remains of food left on her pillowcase, too depressed to get out of bed.
From her early 20s Terri struggled with manic depression and there seemed to be no treatment, no help. Rounds of medication and even electroshock therapy – this a mere ten years ago – proved useless. Only the shock of a brutal rape and subsequent suicide attempt would finally lead Terri to the help she so desperately wanted and needed.
All in my head is a startling and moving account of Terri's battle with manic depression, a battle she continues to fight.
Interesting read on the experience of bipolar disorder.