What's the funniest thing you've ever heard? Who said it? Was it Oscar Wilde, PG Wodehouse (The Right Hon. was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say "When!"), Groucho Marx (A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running), Nancy Mitford (She said that all the sights in Rome were called after London cinemas), Lily Tomlin (Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain), Homer Simpson (To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!) or Joan Rivers (I don't exercise. If God wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor)? Maybe it was Noel Coward, Jack Dee, HL Mencken, Woody Allen or Rowan Atkinson? They are all here: over 5,500 quotations from the funniest people of the past hundred years.