Crying Gorgeously: 4:37am is, at once, both an unravelling and the composition of personhood. This collection is a series of experiments, a body erupting in defiance and resistance to the language being rained upon it. Wrapped in pervasive loneliness and othering, J. explores the effects of dysfunctional family dynamics, colonialism and patriarchal structures on mental health and identity. Within its introspective dreamscape, we wander through expressions of mood swings, rememberings and therapy. We watch the brittle bones of childhood crash into looking for love in the wrong places. Nightmares streak into gorgeous tears, each poem is a step towards self-acceptance, an attempt to reconnect with heritage, an attempt to clinging to a homeland that's slipping away. Uncovering the source of pain is also the catalyst for healing. Relationships with the women surrounding and puncturing the poet's surface tension with their warmth. Tagalog is scattered. The ramifications of colonialism are encased within language as the search for belonging leads back to the self. AUTHOR: J. Marahuyo is a neurodivergent Filipino- Australian award winning poet. She was shortlisted for the Newcastle Poetry Prize 2024, won the Writing NSW- Varuna Fellowship 2024 and won the Living Stories Prize 2024. Crying Gorgeously: 4:37am is her debut collection.
