How To Beat The Australians

'Feeling the way I do now, it's not a feeling I ever want to have again.' - Andrew Flintoff speaks for a nation.

The Ashes, 2006/07: Australia 5 England 0.

The nightmare returns.

For twenty years, Australia has produced competitors so gritty they order sandwiches with sand in, and not just at cricket. Fourth in the medals table at the Athens Olympics, Tour de France contenders, Davis Cup champions, and the Socceroos 3-1 winners over England.

For Richard Beard, the football was the last straw.

So, on the well-established principle that if you want something doing, he travelled down to Australia for seven rounds of hand-to-hand sporting combat, to find out just what makes the Australians so good, and how to beat them.