The Trillionaire's Guide to Daytrading - When Getting Rich Quick Just Isn't Fast Enough.
Rise above the dime-a-dozen millionaire club and become an instant trillionaire with the help of celebrated humorist Andy Borowitz's tips on daytrading.
Daytrading is to adults what Pokemon is to children. It's the latest craze to sweep a nation where get-rich quick schemes infiltrate our subconscious every waking second through infomercials, media hype, and e-mail spams. In this hilariously insightful guide, 'The New Yorker' and 'New York Times' humorist Andy Borowitz shows, in plain, simple, tongue-in-cheek-English, that daytrading is a science, just like chemistry of astrology. To those savvy enough to master it, daytrading makes the old methods of buying and selling stocks as obsolete as a month-old cell phone.
This book includes such helpful tips as "Never own a stock long enough to know what the company does" and "Any stock worth buying is worth selling four minutes later". Other invaluable gems of wisdom include tips on when to buy, when to sell, and when to call Domino's; advice for the long-term investor: which stocks to hold in your portfolio for five, ten, fifteen minutes, or even longer; and a helpful glossary of economic terms, including "mousepad" and "click".