What do Google, guilt musicals and Scarlet Johansson have in common? Answer: they're all good for the Jews!
But what about Christmas? Or Jordan (the celebrity, naturally)? Or Scientology? Luckily, we at the Judological Institute of Spiritual Mathematics (JISM) are pleased to reveal to the outside world – yes, non-Jews are allowed to buy this book – our ancient mystical formula for calculating which people, products and places are, in fact, good for the Jews.
Here the secret art of Judology (think of it as a third cousin of Kabbalah) will reveal:
Big Brother is, in fact, good for the Jews. Since when has someone watching your every move, listening to all of your conversations, NOT been the experience of a Jewish child?
eBay, of course, is not. Where else can one happily buy Hitler's nasal trimmer or mint conditioned first editions of Mein Kamph?