The narrator of this brilliantly original novel was made on 3 November 2022 in an industrial estate on the outskirts of Chelmsford. After three weeks of childhood he is sent to work in ShopAlot, St Pancras, next to the most famous little church in the world. He's a supermarket trolley with a faith in God.
In the church he meets Edgar Malroy, founder of Scepticism Inc., owner of the Metaphysical Betting Shop, soon to be the richest man in the world. Edgar takes bets on metaphysical propositions and never loses; but Edgar's Achilles' heel is his love for Sophia, a ridiculously beautiful woman who thinks she is a messenger from God.